exhausted

I have been totally wiped out this whole week. last week too..
understandable?

I feel like I've been whining alot.
I need to get myself back into life.
no more excuses.
I feel like crap.
I eat crap.
my mind and body have shut down.
I need to get them going again.
now!

so.. I will get back to the gym every night
life throws us shit
we have to be ready to throw it back

I think I am ready.

I have made sure I drank tons of water this week.
yay.

I did make it to get a short.. 30 minute jog/walk a couple nights ago.
I cried.
while jogging
yup.
couldn't help it.
gym time is my thinking time
and it was fuggin hard
I didn't want to think
but I had to
so I cried.
and I'm sure I scared a few of the other treadmill users around me
but yanno what?
I don't care

they have no idea what I'm dealing with.
I don't know what they are dealing with
and it's ok
:)

so..
back to life I go

wish me luck..
I'm gonna need it!