Monday, October 1, 2012

I feel like a loser

and not in a good way
I've gained
I'm not saying how much. because I actually don't know.

I'm avoiding the scale.
like the plague.
seriously.

I can't even bring myself to turn it on.

I suck

I need to pull my head outta my arse

I know I said before I was going to do better.
well
I lied
to you
to myself
to my family

I am a failure

I have no excuses

none

I've ate crap
every day
I hate it
totally hate it
it really does taste like crap
I feel guilty for even eating it
but I continue to do so
why?

no clue!

just habit I suppose
and lazyness
I would love to blame my family
but I am the one doing the shopping

I am the one putting the shit in my own mouth

*sigh*

I feel fat
I feel like shit
I feel like a failure

I am going to slowly get back on track.
yep.
I said slowly
I can't expect myself to turn around overnight.
I didn't fall off my plan overnight.
it took a few days


life happens
I will deal
but I had to let you all know how much I suck
I am only hurting myself, I know, but I feel like I let you down too.
and that sucks big time!


but on a happy note..

me n the hubs celebrated our 16 year anniversary

yeah
I
know
16 years
 yeah
I am actually wearing a dress.. I had to go buy one because our date was to dress up and go out. it was a blast. we went to see Hotel Transylvania. yep. a cartoon. it rocked!
 he luvs me!



and our baby girl. her homecoming dress. isn't she darling?
yeah. I love to brag bout her.

2 comments:

Diandra said...

Ah, don't worry. I am about 9kg heavier right now than I was last year. It sucks, and I suppose I am to blame, but I know I can do that again, and I know you can do it as well. Be gentle with yourself. Would you talk like this to your daughter if she messed up with a project? I bet not.

spunkysuzi said...

You haven't let anyone down. Take a deep breath, get on the scale because today is a brand new day and tomorrow that scale could already be down.
Take it one small step at a time. You can do it.